Bye Bye Passy

Perhaps one of the things I've been dreading the most was getting rid of Deacon's passy. I knew the longer we waited the harder it would be. We had talked about letting Santa take them at Christmas and I wish that's what we would have done. But Christmas came and we were so wrapped up in making sure Deacon understood the true meaning of the season that it just didn't seem like the right time. As the months passed, Deacon started calling the pacifier a passy and asking for it throughout the day.

Then one day in April, Maddy ate Deacon's last passy and daddy bought him a new kind and he grew even more attached. We would only let him have them in the car and at bedtime but he couldn't wait to get them in his mouth. I knew that over summer break we had to get rid of them.

We had decided that we would get rid of them on Thursday night and celebrate on Friday at Venture River. I was working my last day of school on Monday and I decided that I wanted to get rid of them as soon as I got home so I wouldn't have it hanging over my head all summer. Plus, Deacon was staying with parents Saturday night and I wanted him to sleep well for them.

While I finished up at work, Taylor gathered some helium balloons. I got home from work and we tied them up and sent them to the moon. The first night was rough and many tears were shed...but one week later and he hasn't mentioned them in 4 or 5 days. We have learned alot though and when we have another a baby we will get rid of them much sooner. It is almost like he was addicted to them and needed them for comfort. It was heartbreaking having to listen to him tell us that "he needed them" and to "go get them from the moon."

 I have prayed many many times that Deacon would find comfort and fulfillment in his heart that only God can bring. I prayed that prayer thinking it would only apply to his future. However, as he was crying that night I prayed it over and over until he fell asleep. In that moment, I couldn't comfort him. I was doing everything I possibly could and yet it wasn't enough because it wasn't the one thing he wanted the most. God comforted my sweet baby that night and has been with us every day since. I know this was one of the first of many tough things we will face as parents.